2023: Rivers and Roads
Exactly one year ago, on the rooftop of Mapo Hall, on a dry arid day in the brown-roof city of Ibadan, I truly believed that I was going to die soon. The night before December 12, 2022, particularly throughout that week, I have been overthinking about life’s travails and the journeys that got me here.
That night, my breath had seized while my eyes were wide opened. In the few seconds that followed, my physical body struggled to hold anything to support my failing body. In my mind, I made peace already and my alter egos were having a good laugh.
What surprised me was not the revelation itself, but how quickly — and I mean quickly — I made peace with it. Even as my heart pounded against my breastbone as if trying to break free and save itself at the expense of me; I thought with dry amusement that this was not perfectly close to the life I wanted to live.
At the risk of soiling this, I did not die that day. That morning, I woke and got a semi-colon tattoo on my wrist and a “Live Life” tattoo on my upper arm. The calm resignation to the unannounced occurrence of death stayed with me since then. This year, I lived life simpler (what I made it to be), while working myself to the bone in my fickle pursuit of immortality and legacy.
Angel from Montgomery
My career aspirations have always been propelled by the love of the work I do day-to-day. However, as I have found my niche, I am recognizing the things I need to create and drive to continue to grow professionally with the autonomy to make decisions, and the opportunity to work with and for the interests of multiple parties while being a leader among them.
At Civic Hive, I finally got to do the kind of work I love and lead the kind of change that makes governance work for the people. To note, Zahara and I met this year physically during the election project-we became good friends even before we met in person. The work we did as a team this year is incredible and the impact was mind-blowing. We stretched ourselves to new points that showed that we could break new ground, forge partnerships, and achieve anything.
Our Election project, Student Union Leaders Fellowship, Spotlight Documentary, and Creative Changemakers project showed us the kind of capacity we carry within and what role team efforts play.
It is easy to lose perspective of the multifaceted richness of life when you are looking from the rearview. Every other day, I miss the “closely-knit team” at TheNest but not the Monday management meetings. Funny how Iqmat and I plotted our career path and life beyond TheNest the first time we met which was also our first day of resumption!
Lover
The idea of immortality is appealing to people because of our interconnectedness as humans. After all, for every person who is immortalized, there is someone who disagrees with everything they stand for.
Since my brush with death, I have been reevaluating my impact on the world through the relationships I have formed, the conversations I have had, and the lives I have improved through love, advice, honesty, and a listening ear. Sooner I accepted that my name would mostly likely be lost in the wash of history and everything good thing we love goes away.
At some point this year, I lost all the love and grace I had — and the love I found. Still, the yearning remains. I realized that boundless love is what only the bible character Jesus can give; and the adjectives and nouns used by those who would count you twice in their life will echo in your sleep and drown your soul at the break of dawn.
Water, Salt & Fire
Ensuring my brother graduates with a First Class became something I gave sweat for. He is a brighter person than I am and his health crises during his final year semester exams mean he will be having a carryover in exams he did not finish writing.
On different occasions, Lanre and I went around the faculty and Senate to knock on doors and call those who would substantiate the claims on why the exams he did not finish should be removed from his academic records. Almost looked like a never-ending bout but in the end, he graduated first class. Incredible kid!
For different reasons, I frequent the Federal Neuropsychiatric Hospital at Yaba, and it was heart-wrenching. Every Doctor’s appointment that I accompanied my friend to was a jarring experience of how fragile our nation’s health system is and how poorly funded it is.
+234SALMA
As life will have it, I am back in the same city where I was this day last year, As I wrote in one of my previous posts, “I am still in Nigeria, with a mind inflated with happiness”. While I am not sleeping on chances that emerge from the ether every day, I must admit, that it is with mixed feelings to reconcile the notion of what this year is. A perfect blend of chaos and happiness.
To end this review, I will borrow words from Portable, the musician, “Accept your past without regret, handle your presence with confidence”. I have no regrets; just lessons (I regret the lessons btw).
- Song of the Year: You’re On Your Own, Kid — Taylor Swift
- Book of the Year: The Courage To Be Disliked — Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga
- Persons of the Year: Temitope Musa & Awele Chidozie
- Highpoint of the Year: Seeing our www.liveresults.civichive.org become the talk of the town
Asante Sana!
