2020: Bold Aspirations, Complex Realities.
I have mixed feelings about this year, the type Ejiro refers to as a “Cocktails of emotions”. Feels more like a roller coaster where you don’t know what to expect. Please bear in mind that this is like a public diary. I like writing for myself and after some months or years, I go back to reflect on them.
Cocktail of Emotions
A few months ago, I realized I hadn’t accomplished any of the goals I set at the beginning of the year. Worse still, thanks to pandemic-induced brain fog. I had a hard time even remembering what they were at some point. The last quarter of this year really stretched my sanity and for some weeks, I totally lost the motivation for everything.
I was expecting a particular acceptance mail during the last quarter of this year, I was extremely hopeful it was all I thought about until I received a response. When the disappointment mail dropped, Omo! I wan run mad! I had not even prepared for that possibility. I lost appetite, lost weight and lost interest in everything, I was just free-falling through life. Only two people in my circle knew about this, I was still showing up at work, shining teeth for the camera and doing other things.
I am not beating myself up about it, given everything humanity collectively endured in 2020. But after weeks of endless Twitter scrolling, trouble sleeping and constant worrying and anxiety and a long conversation with Isisi where she said “Musa, is it because of this disappointment you’re feeling bad eh?” that night I laughed so hard because of that comment and I was ready for some positive life inspiration.
Peace has a new home
This year, I was particular about my inner peace and especially how it relates to my mental health. Being exposed to entitled, toxic and negative people is not good for health. How can you be a Nigerian and you’re not selective of the kind of battles you fight? I was very intentional about things I get involved with and things I take to the heart; I am a very fragile street boy from Shomolu. My last medium exhaustively talked about this. I drink more water and I try to mind my business.
Emergency Fund is Important
I am new to personal finance and investment. This time last year, all the money I had to my name was on the left side pocket of my trouser. This year, even though Lanre will see me as a low-risk moderate investor, I doubt I will survive the investment risk he took this year, no be me and una.
Sometimes, I wish I were the last born of the family. Then I think about Olaide who is one, and I realized that there is no escape route for responsibilities. During the heat of the lockdown, prices sky-rocketed and some people around me lost their jobs and it really hit! I did not have an ample emergency fund but as we no shame God, God no shame us.
Life is Short
This life is too short for you to be chasing things that do not bring value and joy to your life. I know people that lost their lives to covid19 and those that were killed unjustly by the military during the #EndSARS protests. They all had lofty ambitions.
I battle two health challenges. If you’re reading this on the 31/12/2020, you should send me love and light because self-assessment shows I have covid19 and I am one more night away from getting tested to ascertain it.
New Grounds
I am excited about the number of projects I did this year! Those that I was part of and those that I initiated and led.
https://www.instagram.com/p/CIxnKQkBtO9/
-Palliative supplies worth of 2million naira,
- Managed and supervised a short film project,
- Conditional cash transfer for at-risk women,
- #EndSARS Sorosoke!!!
- My friends and I launched mentormeng.com,
- Launched a $300 soft grant,
- Featured on both national and international webinars,
- Implemented donations of several books and bookshelves to 4 orphanages,
- Multiple community outreaches,
- Over 1,000 sanitary pads given out!
Omo! I no come remember some of these projects again o! We did some good this year!
Gift of Friendship
To you, you know yourself, thank you for staying through and true.
Final Thoughts
Live life, Stay Gracious!
